CR9 is Cursed, But Rooney has an Alibi...

Most soccer fans thought it was a bad idea when wonder boy Cristiano Ronaldo was running around New York City this summer with Paris Hilton but according to the crazy stories that are abounding in the Spanish press it was a lot more than that.

The story, which has all the elements of a great tele novella, goes that a week or so ago an “unnamed ” Spanish sorcerer told the press that he had been paid to put a curse on the Real Madrid star. Ha ha very funny, except the very next day CR9 pulled up lame and sat out of the match against Seville, which the team promptly lost , their first defeat of the season.

But wait, it gets better. To keep the story going, the El Mundo newspaper went after more details from the Harry Potter wanna be, who has been revealed as a 57 year old from Malaga called Pepe (no relation, one hopes, to Cristiano’s teammate of the same name)

According to Pepe he was hired by a female who was “deceived” by the Portuguese playboy. Given that he rarely dates the same woman for more than a few weeks, this did little to narrow the suspect pool. However, as Pepe told the paper that his client was “very famous, rich and non European.” the Spanish press have now decided that the culprit has to be the Queen of the Airheads herself, Paris Hilton. (although if it was her, I’m actually very impressed. I didn’t think her pea brain was capable of such deviousness. Sure beats drunk dialing.)

Apparently sorcerery in Spain is a fairly lucrative business, as Pepe says he charged $21,000 to place his first curse, which he achieved, he says, with a handcrafted voodoo doll. And he’s not done yet. For a little extra he has apparently agreed to up the ante, and has now placed a curse that will end CR9’s playing days altogether which says he won’t lift even if “Ronaldo’s crying mother knelt before him.”

But, this is not the first time Real Madrid have encountered Senor Pepe. In 2003 he wrote to the club claiming to have cursed David Beckham Esteban Cambiasso, Fat Ronaldo, and assistant coach Carlos Queiroz, and 2006 he was back again to have a go at Raul, Fabio Cannavaro, Sergio Ramos and Iker Casillas, so at least poor Crissie can count himself in good company.

Of course, Real fans are not going to let their investment go down like this. Enter Portuguese wizard Fernando Nogueira, who has now cast a counter spell to keep his countryman in top form.